Some Really Random Shit

Here’s some really random off the wall shit for you all, since I seriously fucking doubt anybody reads this shit. What goes through the mind of a person contemplating suicide? Are they being greedy? Are they being selfish? That’s a really insensitive and asshole way to think about things. They fucking hurt. Things make no sense, life isn’t fun anymore, the grind has gotten pointless. Breathing has become oppressive. “Well they need help.” Yeah, and who the fuck is going to give it to them? A psychiatrist? A psychologist? Somebody I know and love went to see a mental health professional, and they ended up with tardives dyskinesia and a really dull and boring personality. They aren’t really there anymore. Do you know what it’s like to attempt to have a conversation with a person taking olanzapine? Big pharma knows, they are interested in your treatment, but not your cure. Ain’t no fucking money in a cure. They throw enough shit at the doctor’s that they make damn good and sure that you become a slave to them for life. Who really profits off the opioid epidemic? So again, who in the fuck does the depressed, anxiety ridden, guilt ridden, suicidal person turn to? Who is truly and really there for them? Looks like society and mental health have failed them. And you’re still being petty and angry that they would dare to take a way out that you don’t understand. I understand. Do I ever understand, and it seems no one really gives a shit, bitches grumbles and gripes to the contrary. If anyone really gave a shit, we would have fixed healthcare a long time ago. We would make the greedy fucks at big pharma responsible for their actions. We would actually have a healthcare system in place that not only treated patients, but one that was the envy of the world. So I’ll keep sitting here being angry, sad, and apprehensive all at the same time, and everybody else can go fuck themselves. It’s my life, I make my own decisions. There is no help.

Post-Election Analysis

So here we are, 3 days after the election. There are those on the left having a temper-tantrum like spoiled, petulant children and those on the right smugly proclaiming we told you so. Hillary gave a nice concession speech that more than likely hints at a 2020 run where she’ll likely say I told you so. Americans are either extremely upset or extremely happy. The press is in utter shock and disbelief and questioning itself. Some have came to the conclusion that there may be more racist and backwards Americans than they first thought, and our country isn’t heading down the liberal path of socialist enlightenment. Those who supported Trump seemed to have done so thinking he was an outsider not under the influence of Washington beltway politics as normal. What if I were to say they’re all wrong. 

First, Americans for the most part aren’t racist or backwards people. They’re just tired of being told what to think and what to believe. They’re tired of being ridiculed for their beliefs. Women and minorities voted in record numbers for Trump. However, to believe that Trump is an outsider is also wrong. We have words from his own mouth talking about how he has contributed large sums of money to campaigns, mostly Republican, but not all. He has spent years as a lobbyist, seeking to gain influence through cash. To call him an outsider is far from the truth. We had a choice of Hillary and Trump, and some third party candidates who’s take on things was laughable at best. Those on the left seem to think that Hillary would have been the better choice, those on the right think it’s Trump, but in truth, they’re both terrible choices because they really aren’t any different. Despite claims to the contrary, I honestly feel both candidates have only their own interests at heart. 

It’s a subject I have discussed before, but we shall return to it. I think regardless of who won, they would have supported the Dakota Access Pipe Line. The silence of the current administration on the subject is enough to make one think that way. I also think regardless of who won, the Keystone Pipe Line will now become a reality. The oil industry is a very cash loaded industry who throws very large quantities of money at the elected to get them to vote how they want. Hillary has proven that she’s all about the money, and Donald has made the big bucks his life’s goal. Regardless of the outcome, indigenous people get screwed over. For those on the left, please keep crying over things you can’t change. Please keep claiming to be open-minded and tolerant while attempting to silence those who share a different opinion than yours. Those on the right, please keep being smug, narcissistic assholes who have no compassion. You’re all hypocrites who tout values and ideals you hold dear while failing to live up to those values and ideals. To the lame stream media, please continue to disparage the working class and ignore the real stories. Please continue to think you shape and influence history, as recent events have proven you so wrong. We have become a society that gives trophies simply for showing up and that needs safe spaces simply because words hurt. We run from confrontation when thoughts and ideas challenge our beliefs, and ignore the plain truths that show us to be wrong. We want the nice things without having to work for them, and we walk blindly by when our neighbors need help. We claim to be compassionate while doing so. We have those who claim America has always been great, and we have those who want to make America great again. They’re all missing the point. What we need is to be neighborly, show some compassion to those who need help, and to deal sternly with those who violate our laws and rules. It is a difficult path to walk. 

My Thoughts on Religion and Politics

As promised in my last post, here’s my take on religion and politics. 

Both are extremely personal beliefs. The views some people hold on them have ended life long friendships. That being said, no one knows my religious or political beliefs. I keep them to myself. They are mine, and I don’t like sharing them. Why should I? I can discuss them all day long and argue positions from all sides like they were my own. I don’t do this. My own wife doesn’t know my religious or political beliefs. I will say I don’t belong to a political party. I prefer to think and decide for myself instead of letting some parties platform define me, simply by association. With all that being said, we will end it there. That’s all the discussing I care to do on the matter. 

Meh, I need to write, so…..

I’ve been neglecting my writing as of late. I’m sure I have maybe 3 whole people who may or may not read this, but then again, that isn’t the point of this. This one may ramble more than normal as I have a few different things that have been tumbling around in my brain. 

First, I write this under a pen name. Why? Because it’s the internet and I like my anonymity. As much as I can get anyway. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure things out or just hack the info. It also allows me to be me within limits. Words and actions do have consequences, and while I post nothing here to consequential, I may get rip roaring pissed one day. So sit back, relax, and read on. 

I watch the events at the Standing Rock Rez daily. Big oil is pitching a fit to piss on land held sacred by the tribe and endanger their water supply. The supposedly Native friendly federal government seems to be doing everything it can to accommodate big oil. No shock there, now is it. Anytime poor people are involved, they seem to be the ones getting screwed. I noticed that even with casinos that make billions, the tribe gets a pittance while the management companies make the billions. This is why no matter who wins in 9 or 10 days, however long away it is, Natives lose. Hillarys history is full of criminal acts and greed, Trumps history is full of dubious acts and greed. Notice the key point between the two? So no matter who wins, Standing Rock loses. People have been arrested, and tensions grow. Watching some of the videos coming out of Standing Rock, the corporately owned lame stream media is staying silent on a lot of things. It seems their perspective is, “It’s just Indians, who cares?” Social networking is what’s keeping Standing Rock alive and going, and at the end of the day, it will be up to us to support our fellow natives. If they ever turn the cameras off and leave, I think quite a few of the non-native supporters will leave. Their will no longer be a public spotlight to give them their 15 seconds of perceived fame. Then you have the hippies/liberals/weirdo’s out there smoking weed and saying how they support the natives and we’re all one. So after the protest is over, are you going to stick around and help feed the elders and the children? Are you going to stick around and help ensure we have clean water and people who need it have shelter? Or will you simplt pack up and leave after the fights over? I know where I’d place my money if I were a betting man. BTW, attempting to be one with nature doesn’t include giving up on bathing and personal hygiene. Just an observation.  I’m trying to find a way to get to Standing Rock. They don’t need the peaceful pacifists or the hot heads who seem to be showing up. They need people who know how to get things done when the time comes. Be it food, water, shelter, hygiene, etc, most of the people who have shown up without the most rudimentary knowledge of these things. 

On a less serious note, I’ve noticed a rash of writers lately who start one book series project, and then start several others leaving those of us who enjoy reading waiting 4 to 10 years on the next novel. If you start a project, get it done before starting another one. In construction, when a company has more than project going on, they assign individual managers to the projects, that way somebody has a clue about what’s getting done versus what needs to be done at every project. I can also see how this ties into the above post. It seems like there’s a lot to be done, and sadly I see the local tribal leaders attempting to get the things done that need doing without a lot on non-native protester help. Without coordination and planning, this thing could get real ugly. They need a logistician. And these damn writers I read need better planning to. 

In a positive note, the NBA regular season has started and so far looks interesting. I like basketball. It has me looking forward to the NCAA season. Hockey is underway. I’ve seen some good hockey break out at some of the fights. Some people are watching the World Series. I’m not one of them. I do believe I addresses why in another blog post. I’m also not watching the NFL this year for the same reasons. I just saw where their money and viewers are at a 5 year low. Keep beating your wives/girlfriends and using offensive team names and mascots. I hope Goodells behavior puts the NFL out of business. 

I guess that’s enough writing for now. Tune in next time when I discuss something else, like religion and politics. Don’t worry, it shouldn’t offend to many people. If you’re wondering why, come back and read it after I post it. 

Disjointed ramblings and rumblings from the peanut gallery. 

I went deer hunting this morning. I understand this will upset a lot of people who may or may not read this. However, I don’t trophy hunt, and I eat everything I kill. Plus there are the cultural ties to hunting I enjoy, and the more primitive the hunt, the more I enjoy it. Anyway, I digress, hunting really isn’t the point to this. I’m sitting here enjoying my day off and watching House Huntere International on HGTV when a woman makes a comment that sort of shocks me but really doesn’t surprise me. She’s in a third world country and shocked that housing isn’t at all what she expected. I can’t help but wonder what did she expect? She is in a third world country whose indigenous people have their own culture, values, and beliefs. It isn’t America, so why should she expect something that may be anything remotely like she’s used to? I’m shocked by Americans who expect all the creature comforts of the existence they live regardless of where they go. They don’t have to go to the third world to see this, as homes and lodging that don’t fit their preconceived notions exist in every state. Not everyone in America has a cookie cutter suburban nightmare on the end of a cul-de-sac. Some people don’t have electricity, running water, indoor plumbing, the Internet, etc, etc. 

I shouldn’t say I’m flabbergasted by the ignorance of most people to the plight of some very good, honest, and hard working people. Why don’t they do this, or that? Why should they? They have their homes in places they want to live. Chances are good they have no mortgages to go with their homes. Most of these people live in what are known as economically depressed areas. They are quite content to live the life they live. Then again, when you’re more worried about your crops failing than what your neighbors are doing, I guess you have better things to do. While their lives aren’t idyllic, there’s a lot to be said for knowing your lot in life and going on with it.  

The 1st Post

This is my take on the world, right or wrong. It is my perspective on things. Some may find it jaded and cynical, others may find it refreshing. I don’t know, nor do I care. I think I decided to undertake this endeavor more for the sake of mental sanity than anything. Politically I view myself as neither conservative nor liberal. I don’t like putting me in titles. It seems to be a good way to constrain oneself. I don’t get people being offended by every little thing. No one seems to give a rats behind about what offends me or people like me. I don’t get participation trophies. You lost, learn from it and try harder next time. I don’t get not being more conservative with our environment. If it dies, we die. I don’t get a lot of things. They make no sense to me.

I personally find the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians to be offensive. I don’t see teams named for other ethnic slurs. My mother is reservation born and bred. I’ve lived on the Rez, and when I retire in 10 years, 11 months, and 14 days, my goal then will be to get my wife retired and haul my butt back to the Rez. As I stated in the above paragraph, I and others like me find these names offensive, yet a lot of people don’t seem to get why we find these names offensive. In case you didn’t notice, a lot of natives don’t celebrate Columbus Day. It’s hard to celebrate a guy who brought oppression and genocide to people who were already living here. The Vikings had already beat him here, plus we had been living here for a long time before Columbus ever showed up. We are still trying to figure out exactly what he discovered.

There are a lot of people protesting a pipe line. This gets little coverage in the media. After all, it only affects the drinking water and quality of life on a reservation. Despite federal assurances to the contrary, we know the long term impacts will be devastating. I hope Uncle Sam will forgive us when we don’t believe his words or promises. We have a long memory of Uncle Sams broken promises to us. Meanwhile, 2 idiots are on television vying for an office neither should be in. I’m shocked at the people supporting them. If this is the best America could do, I’m afraid in the end we all suffer regardless of who wins. The one minority neither seems to really be pandering to, yep, you guessed it. We aren’t a large voting block.

It has taken me a long time to come to terms with who and what I am. It is a confusing world we live in. It is hard to be you when the image being sold doesn’t conform to who and what you are. I see a lot of people claiming to be proponents of individualism, yet they tow the party line and spout the same clichéd phrases. That’s not being an individual, that’s called being a sheep. So many people are filled with righteous indignation over every little social issue, they miss the point. To quote an old saying, they can’t see the forest for the trees. They miss the real issues, and at the end of the day, the things most worthy of being fought over get missed. I’m sure by this point, most people who may or may not read this have quit. It’s to long, it’s to many words. We live in a world where 7 second videos are all the rage. People want the nice houses and fancy cars because they feel they deserve them. They’ve not gone out and earned them. As for me, I just want comfort and to be left the hell alone. It seems this is a dream not shared by many. Life is what you make of it. I have learned to accept my lot in life, shrug my shoulders, and move on. I’m just waiting on the rest of the world to catch its breath, and catch up.